Author: Jesse Lorensetti

Authentic confidence is the foundation for living your life fully, without holding back. If you’ve ever struggled with self-doubt, felt judged, or held back from pursuing your true potential, you’re not alone. Building authentic confidence comes from facing fears, embracing your true self, and understanding your self-worth.

Let’s dive into some key insights on how to develop authentic confidence and leave self-doubt behind.

Facing Your Fears and Embracing Authentic Confidence

A participant at one of my seminars shared his nervousness about being on camera and fearing judgment from friends and family. I asked him, why be ashamed of working on your well-being? The same goes for all of us—why hesitate to work on improving yourself just because others may judge you?

It’s time to cut the invisible umbilical cord and stop seeking external approval. Real authentic confidence means being willing to face disapproval and still being true to yourself.

Building Self-Worth Beyond External Factors

Many of us tie our self-worth to external factors, like weight, appearance, or social validation. One woman shared that she felt less confident because she had gained weight. I reminded her that your weight doesn’t define who you are or your value.

Think about it: Would you tell a child that their worth is based on their appearance? Of course not! So why not give yourself the same love and compassion? Self-worth comes from within, and loving yourself unconditionally is the key to true confidence.

Overcoming Your Inner Critic to Build Confidence

We all have an inner critic—a voice that holds us back by telling us we’re not good enough. A participant, Natalie, realized that her inner critic stemmed from her father’s disapproval. The truth is, we all have moments where we let this inner critic control our self-image.

Instead of constantly protecting yourself from perceived harm, allow yourself to experience challenges and frustrations. Through reparenting yourself, you can give your inner child the support and love it needs to grow confident.

Practical Steps to Embrace Authentic Confidence

Here are some actionable steps you can take to start building authentic confidence:

1. Affirmations: Embrace Your Authentic Self

Every day for the next 30 days, look at yourself in the mirror and say, “Be crazy.” Embrace your uniqueness and authenticity without fear of judgment.

2. Audit Your Beliefs to Boost Confidence

Write down your beliefs about health, wealth, relationships, and success. Identify negative beliefs and challenge them. Remember, your self-worth is not tied to external factors.

3. Engage with Your Inner Critic

Start a dialogue with your inner critic. Understand its fears and gently reassure it that you are safe to be yourself. This will help diminish its control over you.

4. Celebrate Small Wins to Reinforce Confidence

Every step you take towards being your authentic self, no matter how small, is a win. Celebrate your progress and be proud of your journey.

5. Seek Growth, Not Perfection

Authentic confidence is not about perfection—it’s about growth. Embrace who you are and continually strive to become a better version of yourself.

Conclusion: Embrace Authentic Confidence and Self-Worth

The path to authentic confidence involves embracing your true self, cutting the need for external validation, and working on your well-being without fear of judgment. Nurturing your inner child, letting go of perfection, and celebrating your unique qualities are essential to building lasting confidence.

Remember, your self-worth comes from within. Embrace your journey, live authentically, and don’t let self-doubt hold you back. You have the power to transform your life.

Julien Blanc

Want to meet me in person? Get your ticket for the NO ANXIETY TOUR and take the next step toward a life without anxiety.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What is authentic confidence?

Authentic confidence is the ability to embrace your true self without relying on external validation. It comes from self-acceptance, facing fears, and understanding your self-worth from within, rather than seeking approval from others.

How can I build authentic confidence?

To build authentic confidence, start by confronting your fears, embracing your uniqueness, and nurturing your self-worth. Practical steps include using affirmations, engaging with your inner critic, and celebrating small wins as you grow.

Why is self-worth important in building confidence?

Self-worth is crucial in building confidence because it ensures that your value is not tied to external factors like appearance, success, or others’ opinions. When you believe in your intrinsic worth, your confidence grows naturally.

How can I stop listening to my inner critic?

To quiet your inner critic, start by engaging in a dialogue with it. Understand where the criticism is coming from and gently reassure yourself that it’s safe to be yourself. Over time, this can reduce the control your inner critic has over your confidence.

What are practical steps to let go of perfectionism?

Letting go of perfectionism involves focusing on growth rather than perfection. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and recognize that personal growth is a continuous journey. Embrace imperfections as part of your authentic self.

Letting go of neediness is not just about feeling better; it’s about fundamentally changing how you approach life. When you free yourself from the need to seek external validation, you begin to embrace your intrinsic wholeness. Here’s how to let go of neediness and reclaim your sense of self-worth.

The Toxic Belief That Creates Neediness

The number one toxic belief that poisons our lives is the assumption that we are not good enough as we are. This belief creates a void within us, leading to neediness as we seek completion from external sources—whether it’s a romantic partner, approval from others, money, or success.

This belief is the root cause of neediness, anxiety, and emotional struggles. It drives us to constantly look for something outside ourselves to fill the gap, reinforcing the idea that we are incomplete on our own.

The Myth of the “Other Half” and Its Role in Neediness

We’ve all seen those necklaces with half a heart, symbolizing the idea that someone else will complete us. This pervasive notion reinforces the belief that we are incomplete on our own.

However, even if you find that “other half,” the relief is temporary. Soon after, the fear of loss kicks in. Neediness doesn’t disappear—it shifts from “please be with me” to “please don’t leave me.” This is not love; it’s attachment based on insecurity.

Attachment vs. Love: Overcoming Neediness in Relationships

In relationships, neediness leads to attachment, not love. Attachment is driven by fear—the fear of losing the other person, the fear of being incomplete without them. This leads to power plays, manipulation, and toxic dynamics.

True love, on the other hand, comes from wholeness. It’s about two complete individuals coming together, not two people filling each other’s voids. To let go of neediness, focus on becoming whole and self-sufficient, and love will flow naturally.

Approval and Self-Worth: Breaking Free from Neediness

Neediness doesn’t just show up in relationships—it also shows up in our need for approval. Many people seek validation from others to feel good about themselves, but this only leads to an emotional rollercoaster.

As I demonstrated in a recent session, the audience alternated between cheering and booing me. Regardless of the reactions, I remained the same. Approval or disapproval from others does not change who you are. Letting go of the need for external validation is essential to building true self-worth and overcoming neediness.

The Pendulum of Life and Its Impact on Neediness

Life is inherently impermanent—things come and go, and nothing stays the same. If your self-worth is tied to external factors, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Achieving your goals won’t bring lasting fulfillment because the conditions of life are always changing.

The only way to find true contentment is to stop seeking completion from the outside world and realize that you are already complete. Letting go of neediness starts with recognizing this truth.

Exercises to Help You Let Go of Neediness

If you’re ready to let go of neediness, here are practical exercises to guide you on your journey to wholeness:

1. Face Your Deepest Fears

Ask yourself, “What if I never achieve my biggest goals? What if I never find my ideal partner?” Notice the emotional reactions these questions provoke. These fears come from the belief that you are not enough on your own. Letting go of these fears allows you to approach life from a place of wholeness, not neediness.

2. Sit with Yourself

Spend 10 minutes a day sitting quietly with no distractions. This exercise will reveal your relationship with yourself. Can you be at peace with your thoughts and feelings, or do you feel the need to escape? This practice helps you become comfortable with who you are, independent of external validation.

3. Audit Your Goals

Reflect on your goals and the underlying reasons for pursuing them. Are they driven by a need to prove your worth, or do they come from a place of self-love? Shifting your motivations to align with inner wholeness will free you from neediness.

4. Embrace Your Wholeness

Recognize that nothing external will complete you. Whether it’s a relationship, money, or approval, these are temporary and cannot provide lasting fulfillment. True contentment comes from within, from accepting and loving yourself as you are.

5. Re-Own Disowned Parts of Yourself

Many of us disown parts of ourselves due to past trauma, societal conditioning, or internalized beliefs. Re-owning these parts is crucial for feeling whole. Acknowledge and accept these aspects of yourself, even if they don’t align with your ideal image. This acceptance is key to letting go of neediness.

Conclusion: How Letting Go of Neediness Leads to True Self-Worth

The journey to self-worth is not about becoming good enough—it’s about realizing that you already are. Letting go of the toxic belief that you are incomplete is the key to unlocking a life of freedom and true contentment.

When you stop seeking external validation and embrace your wholeness, you free yourself from the chains of neediness and discover peace within. Take these insights to heart and start your journey toward self-realization today.

Remember, you are already complete just as you are.

Julien Blanc

Want to meet me in person? Get your ticket for the NO ANXIETY TOUR and take the next step toward a life without anxiety.

Confidence is a powerful asset, and in this blog, you’ll learn how to be more confident than 99% of people by embracing self-love and authenticity. Recently, I had a powerful session with Jacob during one of my live events. It all began with a simple scream, but it led to deep realizations about how our conditioning and fears hold us back—and how reclaiming our true voice leads to confidence.

Finding Your True Voice: Unlocking Real Confidence

When Jacob first screamed his name, he wasn’t using his full voice. He was holding back, retreating into his shell—something many of us do. But why do so many people hold back their confidence and self-expression?

As children, we were naturally expressive and loud. However, over time, Jacob learned that being emotional or loud was wrong. These societal messages conditioned him to believe that confidence and full self-expression were something to be suppressed. Over time, many of us disown these parts of ourselves, resulting in diminished confidence.

The Prison of Conditioning: How It Destroys Confidence

From birth, society imposes rules and norms on us. To fit in, we condition ourselves to act a certain way. For example, if you cried or expressed too much emotion, you were probably told to stop, which led you to disown that part of yourself. This process creates a fragmented self—and when parts of you are disowned, your confidence takes a hit.

Reclaiming Confidence by Embracing Disowned Parts

During our session, I asked Jacob to embody the coach and give himself the harsh truths he needed to hear. This wasn’t easy, but when he finally broke through, he screamed out his frustrations and began to reclaim his disowned voice. This exercise wasn’t just about shouting—it was about rediscovering and embracing the parts of ourselves we’ve buried, an essential step in building confidence.

Using Anger to Build Confidence: A Powerful Tool

A critical part of Jacob’s journey to confidence was tapping into anger—not the destructive kind, but the kind that allows you to say, “Enough!” Anger can help shift you from a place of victimhood to empowerment. When you use it constructively, it gives you the courage to break free from limiting beliefs and reclaim your confidence.

5 Steps to Become More Confident Than 99% of People

If you want to be more confident than 99% of people, here are key steps to help you:

1. Awareness: Identify What’s Holding Back Your Confidence

Becoming aware of the conditioning and limiting beliefs that hold you back is the first step to building confidence. These beliefs are often buried deep, but through reflection and exercises like Jacob’s, you can bring them to the surface.

2. Expression: Unleash Your Confidence Through Self-Expression

Don’t be afraid to express those parts of you that have been buried. Whether it’s through shouting, writing, or speaking with a trusted friend, expression is vital to reclaiming your authentic self and building confidence.

3. Reclaim Your Self-Worth to Boost Confidence

Your self-worth isn’t tied to external validation. You’ve always been good enough—you just need to remove the layers of conditioning to see it. Reclaiming your self-worth is key to becoming truly confident.

4. Consistent Reminders: Reinforce Your Confidence Daily

It’s easy to slip back into old patterns. After breakthroughs, keep reminding yourself of the truths you’ve discovered. Write them down, keep them visible, and return to them regularly to reinforce your confidence.

5. Celebrate Your Wins: Confidence Grows Through Acknowledgment

Every step forward is worth celebrating, no matter how small. Acknowledge your progress and celebrate your wins—this positive reinforcement will help you grow your confidence over time.

The Journey of Confidence: A Continuous Process

Confidence isn’t built overnight—it’s a continuous process of introspection, letting go, and self-discovery. As you grow, remember to celebrate your progress. Confidence is not about reaching a destination, but about embracing the journey of personal growth.

You Are Not Alone: Confidence Grows with Support

Jacob’s breakthrough wasn’t just his own—it resonated with everyone present. We’re all in this together, and the support of others can be powerful in your journey toward confidence. Remember, the biggest obstacle to confidence is often ourselves—our own fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs.

Final Thoughts: You Are Enough

If there’s one thing to take from Jacob’s story, it’s this: you are complete as you are. Confidence doesn’t come from external validation or achievements. Your journey to confidence is about peeling back the layers, reclaiming the parts of yourself that have been disowned, and standing tall in your authenticity.

Keep pushing, keep growing, and remember—you are enough.

Julien Blanc

Want to meet me in person? Get your ticket for the NO ANXIETY TOUR and take the next step toward a life without anxiety.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I be more confident than 99% of people?

To be more confident, focus on embracing authenticity and self-love. Reclaim the disowned parts of yourself, express your true emotions, and remove the layers of conditioning that hold you back.

Why do people hold back their true voice?

Many people hold back their true voice because of societal conditioning and limiting beliefs formed during childhood. These beliefs teach us that being too loud, emotional, or expressive is wrong.

How can I reclaim my self-worth?

Reclaiming your self-worth starts by recognizing that it’s intrinsic and not tied to external factors. Let go of societal expectations, express your authentic self, and remind yourself of your inherent value daily.

What role does anger play in building confidence?

Constructive anger can be a powerful tool to reclaim your power. It helps you move from a place of grief and victimhood to a state of action and empowerment, allowing you to break free from limiting beliefs.

Why is it important to celebrate small wins?

Celebrating small wins helps reinforce your progress and build confidence over time. Acknowledging how far you’ve come, even in small steps, keeps you motivated and increases your self-worth.