How to Stop People Pleasing and Embrace Your Authentic Self

I want to start by saying that what you’re feeling—whether it’s fear, nervousness, or even a bit of self-doubt—is completely normal. If you’re wondering how to stop people pleasing, you’re NOT alone in this journey.

I’ve been there too, and I know how EASY it is to fall into the trap of people-pleasing and putting on a front just to fit in. But let me tell you, it’s not worth it. Learning how to stop people pleasing will set you free from the burden of pretending to be someone you’re not.

The Cost of People Pleasing: Building a “Golden Prison”

We often think that by lying or hiding our true selves, we can gain acceptance, love, and approval from others. Sometimes, we do… but it comes at a cost. We create what I call a “golden prison.”

Sure, it may look shiny on the outside, but inside, you’re trapped—constantly managing a facade, never able to just be. The journey to understanding how to stop people pleasing starts when you realize the emotional and psychological cost of pretending to be perfect for everyone else.

Self-Betrayal: A Common Outcome of People Pleasing

I recently had a conversation with someone in a live event who bravely shared their struggle with people-pleasing and the pressure to be “ideal.” She realized that while she could get good things by putting on a mask, it was leading her down a path of self-betrayal and inauthenticity.

If you’re looking to understand how to stop people pleasing, take a moment to reflect on how you might be betraying your true self in pursuit of external validation.

How to Stop People Pleasing: Embracing Your True Worth

Here’s the truth: You are already enough as you are. Your worth isn’t tied to how perfect you are, how much you weigh, or how well you can please others.

Learning how to stop people pleasing is about embracing your authentic self and letting go of the fear that people won’t like the real you. Trust me, the right people will love you for who you are, not the facade you create.

A Simple Challenge to Overcome People Pleasing

So, here’s a challenge for you: Start small, but start now. The next time you feel the urge to put on a mask or tell a little white lie just to fit in—don’t. Speak your truth, even if it feels scary.

It could be as simple as sharing something real about yourself that you’ve never told anyone before. This is one of the simplest ways to stop people pleasing. You’ll find that nothing bad happens, and in fact, you’ll feel a sense of relief.

Why Authenticity is Key to Stopping People Pleasing

It’s okay to be human. We ALL have our quirks, our weirdness, and yes, even our embarrassing moments. But these are the things that make us who we are, and they deserve to be embraced, not hidden.

If you’re serious about learning how to stop people pleasing, remember that being authentic is the foundation of real relationships. You’ve got this. Be real. Be you.

What Happens When You Stop People Pleasing?

When you stop people pleasing, you begin to live for yourself instead of others. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but eventually, you’ll realize that living authentically is far more fulfilling than maintaining a facade for the sake of others.

You’ll find that the right people will stick around, and those who leave weren’t meant to be in your life anyway. The relationships you build from authenticity will be far more meaningful and lasting.

Conclusion: The Freedom of Letting Go of People Pleasing

If you’re tired of living in the “golden prison” of people pleasing, it’s time to take that first step towards embracing your true self. Learning how to stop people pleasing may feel challenging, but it’s the key to a happier, more authentic life.

Start small, be honest, and give yourself the permission to just be. You’ll find that true freedom comes from living authentically, without fear of judgment or rejection.

You’ve got this.

Julien Blanc

Want to meet me in person? Get your ticket for the NO ANXIETY TOUR and take the next step towards a life without anxiety.

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What are the common signs of people-pleasing?

Common signs of people-pleasing include constantly seeking approval, fear of rejection, difficulty saying no, and feeling guilty when prioritizing your own needs.

Why is people-pleasing harmful?

People-pleasing is harmful because it often leads to self-betrayal, emotional exhaustion, and inauthentic relationships. It creates a “golden prison” where you feel trapped, constantly managing others’ perceptions.

How can I stop people-pleasing in social situations?

To stop people-pleasing in social situations, start by practicing small acts of authenticity. Speak your truth and resist the urge to say what others want to hear. Over time, this will help you build confidence in being yourself.

Is it possible to stop people-pleasing without losing relationships?

Yes, it’s possible to stop people-pleasing without losing relationships, but it might mean that some relationships will change. Those who value your authenticity will stay, and those who don’t might drift away.

How long does it take to stop people-pleasing?

Stopping people-pleasing is a process that takes time and effort. With consistent self-awareness and practice, you can gradually let go of the need to please others and start living authentically.